Can you believe my mother violated my privacy and read my private things? Oh, how I hated her for this. Now, my kids can't believe I would do such a nasty thing either. Hey, if you're not communicating with me, and I am forced to rely on snooping to know what's going on in your life, then I guess that's what I've gotta do. I am afterall responsible for you and your actions. I want to make sure that I'm not the mama of the kid that goes on a crazy violent rampage at their school and everyone close to them swears they were just the best kid in the world and can't believe he or she would do such horrible things. I'm sure glad my mom cared about me as much as I care about my kids. Enough to find out what was going on with me... whether I told her or not.
My mom also used to spank me. I cannot remember a single time I heard my mother say something like "You just wait til your father gets home!" Hell, she'd get out the wooden spoon and make sure I had a welt on my ass that lasted until my father got home. This was pure torture. I took a vow with every spanking that I would never put my future children through such cruel and unusual punishment. Somewhere down the line, between the back talking and the disobedience, I cracked. I became a spanker. Then once I broke my promise once, it was like an addiction. Hey, if I spank 'em, they straighten up! Maybe she just wanted me to behave and be disciplined instead of the hooligans that were hiding in the clothing racks at the department stores, or the misfits having a food fight in a public restaurant. Now I'm like a spanking advocate! There's something to be said for a good old fashioned butt whoopin'. My mom loved me enough to spank me to ensure that I was respectful and good natured. I'm passing that love down to my children.
My evil mother also used to make me do homework. I saw no good reason for this, as I didn't foresee any point in my life that I would need to know that A+B=C or that I would care how an adverb was used... As I wasted so much of my life away doing this ridiculous homework, I thought to myself 'when I have kids, I'm going to boycott homework on my children's behalf. There is absolutely no excuse for all of that tedious bologna. Of course, when I went to college AFTER becoming a parent, I realized the value of an education. Knowledge is power. I make my kids do their homework because I want them to be empowered!
When I look back at photos of myself as a child, I gasp at the sight of the horrendous attire that my mother felt perfectly comfortable putting on me and toting me about in public. I'm not just talking about fashion changes. Hell, I didn't even match most of the time. I was embarrassed and promised my future children to ALWAYS make sure that they were dressed in the most trendy, latest fashions. I would make sure that their clothes not only matched, but coordinated with their siblings' fashion statement as well. Somewhere between the temper tantrums over wearing cowboy boots with shorts, and my eyes rolling over one of my boys dressing himself in a t-shirt and baseball pants that fit snuggly under his knee cap with his flip flops... I sort of decided that their pride in dressing themselves was far more important than my childhood promise. Cheaper too. I still have to check before we leave the house to make sure all of them are wearing pants, because there's just some moments you have to put your foot down! So, bravo mom! I take my hideous outfits to mean that you were proud of my decisions and valued my independence. Thank you for that.
When I was a teenager, there was nothing I hated more than being told I couldn't do something or go somewhere. I was old enough to make my own decisions, damn it! I was positive I'd let my teenagers do as they please... Then, one time when my first child was just shy of two years old, she wandered out of my sight in a public place while I dug through my purse for some cash to get her picture taken with Santa. I looked up and didn't see her, and for those sweating, heart pounding 15 seconds or so that I couldn't breathe because I feared the worst, I promised myself that I would always protect her. That means saying no sometimes.
My mom knew what she was doing after all! I have more than once called her to remind her of how sorry and how thankful to her that I am... and I look forward to the day that my children dial my number to humbly admit that they became their mother. It will be worth the wait. :)
My mother's daughter...
DRD
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