Khighla

If someone asked me two months ago what was the worst possible thing I could ever imagine happening, I would not have the same answer I do now.  That's because my mind would never have reached the horrific idea of one of our children being murdered.

I hear of these unbelievable stories on the news or on crime drama television series.  I shiver in disbelief, but never remotely consider the possibility that it's real... that it's actually happening... or that it could ever happen in my own family.

My step daughter was kidnapped, murdered, and tossed in a lake.  News stories overwhelmed the TV, internet, and newspapers.  But Khighla was more than a news story.  Khighla was just 15 years old.  She was a beautiful girl, inside and out.  Now that she has been taken from us, I am writing in her memory.  I want to introduce you all to the girl beyond the news stories.

The photo above sums her up pretty well.  No better place for her than on the back of a horse.  She could have been quite happy living in a barn.  If she had her horse, she was content.  You can't see in this photo, but she was wearing boots.  She was always wearing boots.  She would come to our house with a bag packed with shorts and capri pants for the summer.  And boots.  No flip flops, no tennis shoes... just boots.  I wish I could tease her about that again.

Before my husband and I got married, that morning of our wedding I took all four of our girls to get pedicures with me, as they were all wearing flip flops for our outdoor summer wedding.  Khighla of course had never had a pedicure before and rolled her eyes at me for the thought of it.  Once it was her turn though, she loved every minute of it.  I wish I could take her for another pedicure.

Khighla could not make it through a sentence without saying "umm".  Sometimes saying it multiple times within one sentence.  It made us laugh.  We would try to get her to go for a day without saying "umm" and it was obvious that wasn't going to happen.  So, we would challenge her to go one conversation... that didn't work either!  I wish I could hear her voice one more time, even just "umm".

Khighla loved to go to the lake with us.  She never used enough sunscreen and came back with a sunburn every time.  Her hair was a beautiful color with natural highlights in the sunlight.  I wish I could see it blowing in the wind again.

Khighla was a teenage girl.  Teenage girls make naive decisions.  She was no exception.  Teenagers believe they are invincible.  They trust too easily.  They don't see the evil in the world.  They do things we wish they wouldn't, and they break the rules.  Didn't everyone as a teenager?  I wish we could lecture her about this one more time.

 Khighla had a passion for music.  She loved to sing.  I wish I could hear one more song.

She loved to go out to eat with us.  I wish we could take her to Mexican Villa one more time.

Khighla loved to read.  She could sit for hours with a good book.  She loved the twilight series and was on Team Jacob.  She sported a shirt with his face on it.  I wish there were more pages in her story.

Burying a child is a nightmare that nobody should ever face.  We yearn for justice, but to be honest it doesn't help.  They could take her killer out and shoot him and it wouldn't bring her back.  We can visit her grave, but can't see her smile again.  We can talk to her, but she can't talk back.  The world is a cruel place, and it's very difficult to move on.

A ton of people tell us "Let me know if there is anything I can do".  I know they mean well, and I know people just don't know what to say.  But the truth is, there isn't anything that anybody can do.  There isn't anything anyone can say to make the hurt go away.  It's nice to hear though, because we know how many people care.  Our family and friends have been an amazing support system.  But at the end of the day, she is still gone.  That is a void that will never be filled on this earth.

Love you Khighla...
DRD